22 years

I just don't get it.  I can hardly look at you or stand the sound of your voice.  Then again not much has changed... 22 years of sobriety.  TWENTY-TWO years of absolutely no alcohol whatsoever.  Then in one night you can have 5 drinks.

They say once an alcoholic always an alcoholic... I always believed that to be true but how can you do this?  Especially now?  I want so badly to blame myself.  I shouldn't have had that drink in front of you.  I shouldn't have acted so 'ok' with drinking.  Maybe then you would have left your guard up.  

I'm scared that this is going to tear our family apart.  I'm scared that this is all it's going to take to break us just like it did in the past.  It didn't take much for you to leave before, when you had so much there stay for.  What's going to make you stay this time?  It's already getting to the point where you need to buy more before you run out...